Thursday, March 31, 2011


Sorry I haven't posted in a week! I've had family here from out of town, and the weather the past few days has been amazing. I have been busy working in the garden, planting lots of colorful flowers to take care of over the next few months, and hopefully get my mind of the baby train! Yeah right!

Tonight I watched Army Wives episode from last week (Season 5, episode 5). You can view it on if you are interested.

Anyway, in this episode a mother loses her son. It was really emotional to watch. I recently lost my sister in a car accident and I cannot tell you the amount of pain such a loss causes. Tonight, when the show finished I hit my knees. I prayed that I would never have to bury a child. This must be the most devastating of all losses. To grow a child in your womb, protect them inside of your body, and attempt to protect them on the outside and then lose them. My heart melts thinking of the crater that now resides in my mothers chest, "ain't even grey but she buries her baby." - The Band Perry

Teardrops aside, I have a point. Someday I will get pregnant, I know I will, I have faith I will. Then what? Worry. Right now I am worried about conceiving a baby, once I do that I will be frantic worrying about miscarriage, then once I feel the little one moving inside me I will start worrying about labor. When I finally have the baby I will worry about him or her non stop, everyday, always. As a parent I know you have to sit back and let your child find out that their heart will get broken, friends will hurt their feelings, they will at any given point feel sad, their not good enough. Is there a book on this?

Aw, I have so much to learn.

1 comment:

  1. You are so right about the worrying. Even though we're not pregnant yet, my biggest fear is that our cycle will work, and then I'll miscarry. I'm more afraid of that than the cycle failing. It's in the back of my mind all the time.