Finalization

The time is (FINALLY) almost here. Today we signed our adoption placement paperwork. The is the time between when the girls are "foster kids" and the adoption being final. The paperwork for their new legal names is being processed, and everything is falling into place.

We are almost a forever family.

We have one more social worker visit (the post adoptive placement visit) on Wednesday. Then we wait for our court date. We should finalize in the middle to end of September. I cannot believe it. I know at this point their "ours" but I can't wait until its official.

"If we only knew that the future holds, after a hurricaine comes a rainbow."

Sigh.

Zippity Doo Dah

We spent the last three days having the time of our lives.

This is the good stuff.

The girls met Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, many princesses, Briar Fox, and more that I'm forgetting. There is nothing (and I mean nothing) more heart warming then watching your kids experience Disneyland for the first time.

When we walked through the gates at 8am and the characters and staff were lining the sidewalks of Main Street USA there were tears in my eyes as I saw the wonder in the girls.

Everything was exciting, everything was fun, it was magical!

On our second day there we did the character breakfast, and it was worth every penny. Watching "A" giggle with her tongue hanging out of her mouth as Minnie talked with her was embarrassing, but funny. She didn't know what to do. The kid was so excited she couldn't contain herself.

Joy is what I hope to bring my kids. Lessons, integrity, honesty, love, yes....but joy, joy is the jelly in the doughnut of parenting!

Okay that was cheesy, but I've had a Disney week so I'm in a cheesy mood!

Kidisms

Let me fill you in on some of the crazy things my kids say and do:

We were driving in the car after a morning of me going head to head with J, our three year old. She has a very sassy mouth, and I had enough that day. As the music played, the song "I'm sexy and I know it" came on. Instead of singing the lyrics correctly, my four year old, A started singing "she's sassy and she knows it da da da duh, da da da." Well said, little one.

I paint the girls nails once a week, usually on Saturday night. What a different Saturday night then I used to have, LOL. Now they're in to getting a nail tattoo on one nail. Last week, A chose to put a flower tattoo on her two middle fingers. I put them on. For the rest of the night she ran around the house double flipping me off showing off her tattoos. Oops.

I was making dinner the other night, and things got quiet in the dining area next to my kitchen. I saw that J was reaching for dads arnette sunglasses. I said to her, "you know you aren't supposed to touch daddys sunglasses." She responded, "how do you know I was touching them?" I told her the usual mom answer, "I have eyes in the back of my head." Without missing a beat, she got the last word by saying, "well that's not good."

Kids are so damn funny.

Reality

Yes, yes, I know I don't post often enough, I have probably lost most or all of my readers, but here I am, attempting to re-light my writing torch (thank you olympics for this sentence) and move forward with this blog.

There are a few things I'd like to say to catch everyone up with my life since its been awhile, I'll bullet point them for times sake.

• Being a mom is effing tough. It requires a great deal of patience, repetition, love, strength and creativity.
• And an open mind, a very open mind and flexibility.
• I'm CERTAIN there is a reason why when babies are born all they do is eat, cry, sleep and poop. If they talked back, tested limits, and made messes, post partem depression would be post partem psychosis.
• I love my kids. I cry watching them sleep. I'm falling in love again, and this time it's with a three and four year old.
• Husbands DO NOT multi task. If you leave them home all day and their job is to be Mr. Mom, they will care for the kids. That's it. No dishes, dusting, cleaning, cooking, or watering. Period.
• We have our last social worker visit next week (praise God) and we sign adoption papers at the end of the month. We will finalize our adoption no later than mid-October. 
• I still want to be pregnant.

Yes, I really just wrote that. It's funny, so many people think that now that I have two kids all my infertility woes, or feels of envy toward pregnancy have vanished. Maybe I'm a horrible person to admit it, maybe I'm selfish, but it's the truth. I still want to have a biological child. I cannot help but feel like I missed a large and important part of the girls lives. Maybe some of us just have a maternal instinct, a primal need to carry a child. Whatever it is, I still feel it. Though, it is numbed. I don't feel angry and jealous toward the preggo's. I feel more envious. I have reached a place where I can be happy for them, but still feel a little sad for me.

I'm honestly shocked that having two kids hasn't overwhelmed me to the point that I don't want anymore. I definitely do. Because as challenging as some moments are, the good moments, the moments where my kids scream and jump up and down when I come in the house, when they want to sit right next to me, when they give kisses and say adorable loving things, those make everything else worth it.

I guess time will tell...