Sunday, September 30, 2012

Family Life (stress)

It's been a crazy weekend in our house. We are all finally getting healthy again after being sick for the past couple weeks. First both kids, then I got it, then my husband. And, now that I've finished my course of antibiotics and my husband is almost done with his, we were ready to start feeling better. That is, until our 4 year-old woke up with a cough this morning. I thought my husband was going to come unglued. He also caught the cold before the last cold 6 weeks ago (which I did not) which brings our family span of illness up to a total of six weeks.....and (now) counting. "A" will NOT keep her hands out of her mouth, and this week she is doing a new "tongue 1/2 out of her mouth" on occassion trick. The things these kids pick up, honestly.

So, I am home with her this morning, missing my husbands families breakfast. The other kid went with dad and "A" and I are home. Sigh. I also have a big work party to go to this afternoon, and will probably leave her home and take "J." It makes me feel so bad. But, I don't think its proper party-going etiquette to take your petri dish of a kid along.

My husband and I also disagree on what to do with a sick kid. I was always put on the couch with a blanket, kleenex, and forced liquid, so this is my parenting style. He was put in his room. I just don't think with all the bonding that happening around here it's best to put her in her room and ignore her while she heals, maybe I'm wrong.

In the midst of all this, I am reading a hilarious and accurate book about mothering toddler/preschoolers. It's called "Naptime is the new Happy Hour" by Stephanie Wilder-Taylor. This chick is hilarious, and her motherhood stories are spot on with how I feel!

This morning, while I was feeling defeated as a mother because my kid is sick AGAIN, and my husband is mad at the sick kid for being sick (lost cause, my love) and the sick kid is upset about missing the family breakfast ... I was reading my book. Silver lining of having a sick kid, she and I are the only ones home, and she is in a Disney jr. cartoon trance, so the house is completely quiet. Anyway, I'm reading my book, and I come across the chapter on "Stress."

Here is an excerpt that it so blatently true, I laughed out loud for a good 3 minutes:
"The commercial for prenatals could show an extraordinary loving family blissfully frolicking on the beach, while a soothing voice over quickly rattles off the side effects, hoping you won't notice, 'having children may result in insomnia, hypersensitivity, fatigue, constant complaining, gingivitis, difficulty concentrating, irritability, pre-mature graying, disinterest in sex, a filthy living room, uncontrollable urges to binge on salt and vinegar chips, mysterious weight gain, a tendency to forget your own phone number, an unhealthy obsession with germs, increased chance of financial ruin, confusion, and psychosis'."

So, so, so true. And what's not in there, it will cause you and your spouse to fight about the most ridiculous things.

Wait, I volunarily sighed up for this?

Sunday, September 23, 2012


I feel like I need/want to address some of the things in my life that have been effected by having two kids. Overnight.

One of the biggest is time.

I have no time for anything. Weeks slip through my fingers without notice from me or my new little family. A friend of mine got married yesterday, and I was actually IN her wedding. I've known this since June but I managed to do all of the following even with this kind of notice:
I ordered my dyeable shoes two weeks ago, they weren't even ready until last Tuesday.
I didn't try on my dress until three days before the wedding to make sure it fit. Ok two, it was two days.
I barely helped with any pre-wedding errands, I offered, sporatically, thank gosh she was a laid back bride.
How it would have been pre-mommyhood: I would have tried on my dress right after I got it home, and probably every couple weeks. I would have made sure I had a bra I could wear with it, with plenty of time to spare. The shoes would of been ordered after much consideration from many online sites. I would have been involved in the wedding prep.

Between working full time, the kids, my husband, and maintaining some type of clean house. There is time for little else. I barely get three work-out's per week, sometimes it's none, lets be honest.
I grocery shop after work before I pick up kids from day care. I don't read books anymore. I don't have those Saturday breakfasts followed by walks in the park and shopping with my friends. In fact, I don't got out with my friends much at all.

I knew it would be this way, but I feel bad. I feel like I'm torn between the girls, and being a good friend. I don't have time to call friends, or make dates with them. I mean, I could bring the kids cause they are pretty good out and about, but why should I subject friends to the kids on their relaxing day off? There is not etiquette or rule book for this, I've looked.

In time I'll find the balance, all moms do. But for now I feel more disorganized, rushed, stressed, and tired than I ever have before. Guess what though, I love it.

Friday, September 14, 2012

The Court Date

10.19.12 we will become a forever family.

I am relieved we have the date, though I think it's a little far away, since we were originally told the end of September. But, there is nothing I can do about that.

We have made it to the end.

We have children.

We are a family.

Holy shit.

Now I'm off to figure out how to celebrate this day, and these beautiful little girls.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Still Waiting

We mailed the packet (no, I didn't get crazy and drive it down after all- shocking I know) on Tuesday of next week. My husband was at the post office when it opened, and mailed it overnight, with a delivery signature. The office got the paper work Wednesday at about noon. By Friday, I was getting giddy, so I texted my social worker, nothing yet. Grr. She said she would text me once she got the paper work, and assured me she would take it to the court house and get our date ASAP.

I didn't hear from her today, so I'm pretty sure my mom won't get to be here when we finalize. I know it's not a big deal, but it would have been awesome for her to share it with us. Hopefully we will still get a date by the end of this week. It's really tough not knowing for work too, because I commit to things like meetings and such, and at the drop of a hat I could have to change my schedule. Everyone will be super understanding, as they have all been through this entire process, but I still feel bad.

In other news, my initial problem child is now an angel, and now the younger one is turning into a real challenge. She is not as blatent with her misbehavior but she is sassy! Holy crap!

I'm totally effed. Seriously.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Another Waiting Game

We have finished the adoption placement paperwork, and our social worker did her last visit. The next step is to sign the court documents (these have to come AFTER the placement paperwork) and send them in.

Our agency has been trying to meet my deadline of a finalization date on Sept. 13th or 14th. My mom is going to be in town (she lives 2000 miles away) on those dates so I would love for her to be there. But, my social worker, who is generally a smart woman, could not figure out how to print the court docs on her printer, because they have to be two sided. Seriously? I mean, you print one side, re-feed the paper, and then print the other. It's neither here-nor-there at this point. We (FINALLY) got the hard copy documents yesterday, yep, Saturday of a holiday weekend. We filled them out last night, and they are all ready to send back 1st thing Tuesday morning. Honestly, I wanted to barge the 2.5hr drive to hand deliver them into the mail slot today or tomorrow, but my husband gently told me that I was being a nut case and needed to have some patience.

So what's left:
1. Court doc's to our agencies main office.
2. Main office completes court packet and sends to our agency branch to our social worker.
3. Our social worker takes docs to court house and obtains court date.
4. Court date happens and the girls are ours forever! Yay!

With snail mail involved in two of these steps, I'll probably be at the end of September. I know the court date is merely a technicality, but I want it to happen. It's a very special day, and it's been a long time coming.

The crazy thing is, our timeline from placement with the girls to the court date will be minimal compared to most. Many other families have to be in the "foster care stage" for a couple years while parental rights are addressed, etc. We are quite fortunate.

We are thinking about having a post adoption party for family and friends. If we do, I think the girls should wear these...