Friday, December 27, 2013

8 weeks to go

Countdown to Due Date: 55 days

I am officially (as of yesterday) 32 weeks pregnant. I'm in the 8th month. I cannot believe it. Everyone told me to enjoy the 2nd trimester (which ended at 27 weeks) because the third would likely kick my ass. They were right. I don't think I ever understood the word tired until now. I know those of you that have had babies are giggling to yourselves right now thinking "she has no idea." And, you're right. I am sure this level of tired is minimal compared to what I am going to experience when this baby actually comes out. But, for now, this level of tired is the most I have ever known, and it's legit.

I am normally a shop-it-up kinda girl. If we go out to hit Costco, I like to do Target, maybe browse some stuff at Best Buy, grab a little lunch, maybe cruise through the mall. Yesterday my husband got grandma to watch the girls so we could do the above without kids and enjoy a good lunch. I made it through one store at the mall, then had to eat cause I was starving. After lunch we hit Costco, and then I had to come home and put my feet up.

Other than that, some indigestion, stress incontinence, and 2-4am insomnia things are going quite well. We cannot wait to meet this little girl. Her nursery is coming along. My husband painted her room, cleaned the carpet, and assembled the crib. I know, he's a good man once he puts his mind to it. There is a lot to do, but my maternity leave is on the horizon and I am planning to get her room together once I'm off work.

For now, I'm just enjoying some lazy days on the couch feeling her move, which is now more like a wave across my entire belly. I will feel little jabs on the left of my belly button at the same time as kicks on the right side near my ribs, so she is getting big. Almost 4 pounds now! Two surgeons I work with have told me that there is no way I'll make it to my due date because she is sitting so low. They are not OB's so I'm hoping they're wrong, but plan to ask my doctor when I see him next week.

I have begun to get a lot of little tidbits of advice from other moms (which I love) and my favorite so far has been: "if it's been three days, you haven't showered, cannot remember if you brushed your teeth, and have spit up all over your shirt, you are normal. We've all been there." I totally love this. It's likely very true and something I'll remember in my dark moments as a mom to a newborn. I think I am going to start writing these things down.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Time Heals All Wounds

I just finished up a three day stay cation with my family. They flew in from the midwest to be with us for an early Christmas. My grandparents are in their 80's, my mom, my aunt and uncle, and then the four (and a half) of us. Usually we always go to "gram and pops" house but my OB grounded me, apparently you cannot fly in your third trimester. It was fun. I cooked, we opened presents, we laughed,  played cards, watched movies. My heart is full. I love my family.

During their stay December 13th came and went without a thought for the first time since 12/13/09 happened. For those of you that haven't followed this blog from the beginning, 12/13/09 was the day I lost my first pregnancy. I had surgery that day for an ectopic pregnancy. Up until that day I was happily though wearily pregnant (I just had the feeling something wasn't right). On that day, my life fell apart. A lot. And it took me a long time to move past that day, to overcome infertility, and make peace with my path to motherhood.

It's been four years. I can honestly say that I am at peace with my journey. For had it not began with such a loss, I would not have realized how much I truly wanted to be a mother. I would not have tried so hard to become one. I would not have opened my heart to the idea of adoption. I would not have my daughters. As I'm writing this, daughter #3 is moving around in my belly, and 1 and 2 are downstairs giggling and coloring. My heart is full. I am a mother.

In reflection over the past few years I realize that things got really bad for me before they started to get good again. I lost my sister in a car accident in September of 2010. For the first time this Christmas, we talked about her without it feeling awkward and empty. I brought up memories without getting that sick feeling in my gut that someone was going to get upset over it. As a family I think we're beginning to realize that her life and its sudden end is a part of us forever. We have an obligation to keep her memories alive by talking about her short, amazing life, even though it tears at our heart strings a little.

One of my daughters (ironically the one who's middle name is after my sisters) reminds me a lot of my sister at her four year-old age. Her facial expressions, the words she uses, the way she says things with her little attitude. I love this. It's made me realize two things: 1) she's likely picking up her mannerisms from me which means that my sister and I were a lot more alike than I realized, and 2) my sister is around me. She is my angel and she lights my way even in the most trivial of moments. For this, I am grateful.

Over the past four years I have learned a lot about myself, and life in general. I have learned to be selfless, humble, and I can say for certain that I believe in God, and miracles. My husband and I were watching some show a few months back and we came across this quote, I think I've written it here before, but here it is again, as I say it to myself so many times when I begin to fret about something:

"I lost the worry along the way, and God was good to me everyday."

As for the baby, she is getting bigger, I can tell because she actually moves my entire belly. She still enjoys her 4am tae bo sessions which are always followed by my scavenging downstairs for a snack. My blood sugars haven't been great but I've been off on my eating schedule because of family here. I have gotten back on track today. My aunt took some maternity photo's while she was here, and I'm glad she did. They turned out good and it will be a nice keepsake for me to have.

We have 66 days until our due date. Holy Shit.

Friday, December 6, 2013

29 weeks

Countdown to due date: 76 days.

Belly Button: Out

Wedding ring: Off (fingers too fat)

Work Clogs: stored away due to swollen feet.

Weight gain: sigh. 35 pounds. I'm just gonna be honest people.

Blood sugars: doing fine 90% of the time. I have given up bagels and cream cheese, and have switched up almost all my snacking to include a protein. I have to get the most bang for my buck. Until we bake sugar cookies and fudge, then I am screwed. I am starving all the time though. I just ate a leftover hamburger from last night (hubby bought me dinner cause he forgot I was going out with a friend) at 1030am. Don't judge.

Brain cells: minimal. I forget everything. It's honestly getting embarrassing. I was in the elevator leaving work after a crazy day yesterday and I stepped into it, and then stood there for a good minute. Then, I began to panic because it wasn't moving. Well, preggo brain, you need to select a floor. Yep, that. Actually. Happened.

Baby Name: I have decided we aren't going to decide until we see her. It's just too hard. It's too much pressure. We have a short list of possibles but will not choose until she's here….I don't think.

What else?

I have decided that I need to stop obsessively looking at baby gear on the internet. I have researched the crap out of everything, and have changed my registry a few times already. The baby will have what she needs I am sure, and more, knowing me.

I have the craziest labor dreams. I can't get her out, she gets stuck, my heart stops, on and on. I actually asked my Dr. this past week at my appointment if he thinks I can physically get her out. He looked at me like I was nuts. He was very sweet and reassuring. But, I still worry. Last night in my dream she was kicking me so hard that she kicked though my uterus and stomach and her leg was just sticking out, so she had to be delivered. She was fine, and she was beautiful. Dreams are so weird.

I do have to make one more trip to the lab because my platelets (sticky part of your blood that helps you not bleed to death) are a little low. Of course, I'm right on the line of concern, the "concern" mark is 120, mine were 116. So that will get re-checked before I deliver to make sure they don't fall more. Why do we care? If they get too low and I want an epidural I cannot have one. Also, I will have a lot more bleeding during and post delivery. What's the solution? Give me platelets, which I would be ok with if necessary. I guess thrombocytopenia (low platelets) can happen in pregnancy and just have to be monitored.

I think that's all for now. Family gets here in 5 days for an early Christmas, and I have a million things to do! Fun, fun.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Finger Prick

Well, I failed the effing glucose tolerance test…by 28 points. Dammit. They gave me two options, try to pass the 4 hour test, or start checking my glucose levels 4 times a day. I knew I would not be able to survive the 4 hour test. I know that sounds dramatic, but I wasn't feel so red hot at the two hour mark, and I really, really don't want to be the girl that passes out and goes to the ER, so I opted for my very own accucheck machine. I check my sugars 4x a day: when I first wake up (this has to be a fasting sugar meaning no food for at least 6 hours before), and one hour after breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The early morning check ruined my 2-3am snack. As I usually wake up pretty hungry about that time and either eat peanut butter and crackers that I leave by my bed, or a bowl of cereal. The after breakfast check is always higher than it's supposed to be because my go to breakfast has been a bagel and cream cheese, and chai tea with soy milk, which totals about 80gm of carbs, when I am now only allotted 30gms. The rest of the day has been fine. So I am likely right on the cusp of having "Gestational Diabetes." Super.

Gestational diabetes is one of the more common side effects of pregnancy. Basically, the placenta makes cells in the mothers body more resistant to insulin, so therefore glucose cannot get into the cells (you need insulin to get glucose in, its the gatekeeper) and your blood concentration of glucose goes up =hyperglycemia = gestational diabetes. Why do we care? Uncontrolled gestational diabetes leads to big babies, lots of sugar, lots of fat on baby, big baby to get out. It also leads to high blood pressure in mom, excessive weight gain, and can then progress to pre eclampsia where mom spills protein in the urine and it becomes dangerous for mom and baby if pregnancy continues. Sigh. So, the goal: keep the fasting glucose level (early morning one) less than 90, and the after meals glucose less than 130. I am 5 days in, and have only had 4 out of range levels. That's not bad considering I haven't completely changed my diet yet, first I wanted to experiment to see how what I was currently eating was effecting my glucose. I see my doctor Tuesday, he will review my data and from there we will see what's in store.

In other news, yesterday we spent the afternoon putting up Christmas decorations. I got my bellyuptous self up and down the step stool a couple times, and did clean the hardwood floor and do some other chores around the house. Never again. Holy mother I am in so much pain today. My low back and hips are throbbing. I barely slept last night. I also took a 20min walk yesterday, something super important now that I'm worried about blood sugars, and that didn't help the situation. Thank goodness I got the day off work today (not many patients in my unit gave me a requested low census day) because I wouldn't of made it running around at work. Today I am a couch potato. I have a feeling these next weeks are going to get very interesting in the discomfort department. Thank goodness for prenatal massages, which I get monthly, and have one tomorrow. Bless my massage therapist.