Baby Registry Etiquette

Countdown to due date: 102 days

Now that I'm in the 25th week baby shower talk has begun. I am very lucky that I have people who have wanted to throw my shower since day one, and now that thought has materialized into needing a guest list, picking a venue, etc. It's very exciting. At the same time, it was just shy of two years ago when friends came together and threw me a "Shower for Sisters" when the girls came home. There were probably 35 people in attendance and the girls (and I) got tons of nice things from room decor, to toys, clothes and dishes to welcome them home. With this in mind, I initially declined a shower saying that I had already had my day in the spotlight. Some good friends who know how many things a tiny baby requires insisted I have a baby shower for this little miss.

Since about 12 weeks I have researched countless baby items to find the safest, most practical, and well reviewed baby gear so that when this time came I could make the best selections. This past week, armed with my research, a list, and a dear friend who has had two baby's we created the beginnings of my baby registry. It is a daunting task. I really tried to stick to things that I needed for the baby's first year. I didn't want to put too many things on the registry, but didn't want to skimp either. The hardest thing for me was registering for things that I know I'll need, but that are also expensive. Let me tell you, I am a bargain shopper, but there aren't many bargains with baby stuff.

So what do I do? Load up my registry with expensive items and hope for the best? I am finally realizing why in my years (and years) of going to baby showers people always end up with a mother load of blankets, towels, bath stuff, and clothes. This is the less expensive faire that everyone buys. I know that people cannot throw down 50-100 bucks on baby stuff for me. People have their own bills to pay and kids to clothe. The baby gear business is ridiculous. And they are making a killing.

Nonetheless I registered. I registered for all the things I feel like I need to have for baby girl. And I realize, that I will likely foot the bill for many of these items once the showers have finished and I am at home, off work, nesting and online shopping like crazy while I wait for her big debut. Again, I am very fortunate to have the people in my life that I do, and I know she will get plenty of what she needs from them and their generous hearts. I am just shocked at how pricey some items are. For example, I am very passionate about breast feeding. Because I will be returning to work when she is three months old, and only get three 10 minute breaks and one 30 minute break in my 12 hour day I need a good breast pump to drain the ol knockers at work. That pump, the one that seemed most practical, and came most highly recommended, is about 300.00 bucks. And that is not including the accessory pack I am going to need.

The car seat and stroller saga was another big fish to swallow. I wanted the infant car seat that would snap into a stroller so I could let her stay in her seat and sleep while I run errands, or cart her sisters around to t-ball or dance this spring. I really liked the BOB but was astonished by its almost 500.00 price tag just for the stroller. Britax makes a combo system for a bit cheaper that still felt easy to move and has very high safety ratings. I found it cheapest on amazon.com for 299.00. I did put it on my registry and its about 350.00. These are the types of things that either my family, or myself will have to buy.

I did find the famous bumbo seat on this online yard sale site I use for the girls clothes and other things for 10.00. This awesome seat sells for 50.00 usually, but I got it, cleaned it, and its good to go for little girl. This is how I plan to acquire some items. There is nothing wrong with pre-used in good condition so long as the item(s) can be cleaned.

As for the etiquette….I didn't really find any. Everything says to go ahead and register for what you want as long as you'll use it in the baby's 1st year of life. I don't know who these writers are, but they must have some rich friends. I still blush when I review my registry and look at the prices on some of those baby items. Oh well. I figure all she really needs initially is jammies, diapers, wipes, my boob, and some baby wash. The rest is just frosting.

Oxymoron: Viability on the Day of Ghouls and Dead

I am posting two days early knowing that I have two children who both have Halloween parties at school Thursday, then I plan to come home, nap, and then get them ready for a night of trick-o-treating. We will likely get home from trick-o-treating and watch a Halloween movie (last year was Hocus Pocus) while the girls wind down. Kindergarten is off on Friday (smart teachers) and my preschooler always stays home with me on Fridays so they can stay up late, get cracked out on candy, and then (let mommy) sleep in Friday morning. Whew. Now you see why I am posting early.

I always thought it would be fun to dress up my bump if I were lucky enough to be pregnant, and far enough along to have a bump on Halloween. I actually planned to dress up, I had bought a doll and small pumpkin from a yard sale and was going to make this (without the the blood) on a black maternity t-shirt:

But, it's now the evening of the 29th, and I work tomorrow, so I don't think my costume is going to happen after all. I lack energy these days, majorly lack it. 

One of my favorite blogs, "The Pregnant Chicken" posted some hilarious maternity costume ideas. I seriously think the boob is my favorite. Check them out here: Pregnancy Halloween Costumes

Have a safe and happy Halloween!

Muahahaha

23 weeks (1 more week til viability)

I get that the title of this post is a little bit morbid. But, when you try, and try to have a baby, and your only prior experience with pregnancy is loss, you do pay attention to dates, and at what dates your baby could actually come out and survive. 24 weeks is the mark of viability for a fetus (fetus= baby in your uterus). If baby girl comes out a week from today, God forbid, she has a 50/50 chance of surviving. This is because in the 23rd week lungs start the beginnings of being able to function. 24 weeks has been a secret goal of mine because of that. Granted, I have no reason for concern, my cervix is long and closed according to my doc at my last appointment, and I have not had any contractions to speak of (knock on wood). I hope she stays in there and cooks quite a while longer!

At 23 weeks I am visibly pregnant. I am over 20 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. I am done weighing myself. So, we are just going to stay with "over 20 lbs." LOL. There are some not so sexy or exciting things that go on when you are pregnant that I would like to post here. I am doing this because no one told me, and I wish someone would have. It would have saved some terrified googling, and reading my "mayo clinic pregnancy guide book" under pressure. So, if you don't know me and my TMI abilities, read on with caution.

1. You will be constipated. And I'm talking not going every day, pushing til you think you will deliver your baby constipated. Take the damn stool softener every day. Don't forget. I eat plenty of fiber and drink plenty of water, or at least plenty of fluid and it still wasn't enough. Colace is my life saver. Use it.

2. Constipation = hemorrhoids. I'm not going to say more. Just know that one thing leads to another.

3. Buy stock in pantyliners. Your reproductive parts are busy growing a human. And part of that is protecting said human by making acidic discharge that will come out of you. Plentifully. Also, you will start to(in about the 5th month) leak urine. Maybe you'll laugh too hard, maybe you will wipe to get on with life after peeing for the 100th time that day and you weren't quite done. Buy pantyliners.

4. Your nipples will get bigger, darker and puffy. The word bigger is not a word I would use to describe what your boobs will do. Your boobs will take over your chest. I have a friend who literally stares at my boobs and comments on them every time I see her. She has had a BOOB JOB and they look big to her. Another friend who has had two kids calls hers "national geographic boobs" and I get it.

5. Do not, for any reason, look at your southerns with a mirror. There is a lot of blood flow happening down there and things will get swollen and change colors. This may scare you and make you think you have labial cancer. You don't, but just don't look. No one needs to see that. Except your OB, s/he gets paid for this stuff.

I am going to stop there because some of you don't have kids yet and I don't want to be the reason you reached for that second bottle of wine, or whisky tonight. Just know that I am here, I am honest, and I am willing to answer all your questions when your time comes. And I will warn you about this not so pleasant stuff so you don't get the crap scared out of you too.

Hands down, my favorite thing is still feeling her move :) And I actually really like it that friends and people at work rub my belly. I feel so special and loved....and blessed, always blessed.

22 Weeks Tomorrow!

I can finally say that time is starting to fly by in regard to this pregnancy. Let's face it, in regard to life.

Saturday, the 19th marks a year since we finalized the girls' adoption. My four and a half year old who came to me not being able to talk (all the kid did was babble) is now not only a talker, but quite smart and complete with her sentences. My five and a half year old is striving in kindergarten, and actually read me her 1st book last night. Granted the book only had two words in it (I see) followed by a picture but she got the concept of reading and did well. I am so proud of my girls!

Little miss is apparently as big as a spaghetti squash now. I am done with those fruit and vegetable measurements though, honestly. It told me 20 weeks was a banana and 21 weeks was a carrot. I have to disagree with this progression. A carrot is smaller than a banana. I mean, c'mon. Nonetheless, she is moving around like crazy. This morning my husband actually felt like she karate chopped him. He has made a habit out of putting his hand on my belly in the morning before he gets up, today she was like, "good morning pops here's a kick to the hand." Her movements are so strong now. The girls have felt her move too and they think its both the coolest and weirdest thing ever.

I am starting to think about what I am going to buy for this baby, or register for as the case may be. It's a tough decision. I started with reading the ever popular "Baby Bargains" book which reviews brands and price points, and narrowed things down there. Now I'm looking to make the choice for a carseat/stroller combo, and have chosen the pack and play I want. Jury is still out on the following, so if any moms are reading and want to give me an opinion I'm all ears:

1. High chair- I'm thinking the Graco slim fit one because our dining room is small and it folds up.
2. Moby wrap or Ergo? For those of you who are going "wtf" right now, these are baby carriers. The Moby is the popular one but I don't know that I'm skilled enough to wrap it right so the baby will stay in.
3. Swing vs. Bouncer. I'm coming to the conclusion that I'll need both. But what swing is best? Or do I want one of those glider things?

So. Many. Decisions.

So I keep researching. I am going to to make my registry at BabiesRUs by November 15th because if I do that then I get 10% back in a gift card for what my registry purchases total 2 months after the baby is born. Can you say, free money for diapers?? I can! So even though it'll be a little early I want to get it done for the deal! Plus its fun :)

In the grand scheme of things the rest of this pregnancy is going to fly, we've got Halloween, then I am taking a class for work that I have to study for the first couple weeks of November, the class is the 14-15th of November, then Thanksgiving, my family is coming out for an early Christmas visit December 11th, so my shopping will need to be done early, then of course actual Christmas, New Years, both girls birthdays, my husbands birthday and our birthing class in January....and boom February is here.

Holy crap I think I just had a heart palpitation. LOL.

Life

Here I am, the evening of my 19th week, 5th day of being pregnant. Less than 48 hours away from 1/2 way. I cannot believe this experience is half over.

I know from seeing it first hand that birth is one of the most amazing, precious experiences in this lifetime. I also know that death is much the same. I work in an ICU and have watched many people pass on. It too is a beautiful experience. My current hormonal state makes me ponder life a lot. I think about my life, my kids lives, the lives of people I love, and how they twist and turn endlessly.

The other day someone shared this video with us at work, and I was so moved by it that I wanted to post it here. Please watch, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. It even made Simon Cowell cry....

Shit just got real, pregnancy edition

(this is a sweet potato, not some hairy piece of nastiness)

When your husband looks at you undressing to get into the shower one night he is looking both terrified and amazed. He blurts out "babe you are getting f***ing huuuuge."

Shit just got real.

When you go to buy ANOTHER bra because your chesticles are growing at an unnatural pace and you find yourself SQUEEZING into an E cup in the dressing room, and then buy it because anything involving boobs and the letter "F" is too much to bear.

Shit just got real.

When you're walking through the mall after a 30 min drive to said mall desperate to pee and the bathroom is at least 400 yards away so you are waddling toward it while trying to keep your legs together so you don't pee everywhere, and then you have a bladder spasm and lean sideways trying to hold it in....

Shit just got real.

When you fart at the dinner table and it's not quiet and you don't care because holding it in would mean terrible pain.....

Shit just got real.

When your husband (yea he is batting a hundred) puts on a shirt that you likely took too long to fold up and comments on the wrinkles in a sarcastic way and you tell him with a straight face to shove it up his ass, and then burst into tears.

Shit just got real.

But best of all, when you are lying in bed and cannot fall asleep because you can finally feel your little girl moving around inside of you and you wouldn't miss this for anything (even sleep).

Shit. Just. Got. Real.
And it's amazing.

Week 17... and we have a...

A Girl! We had an elective ultrasound yesterday because my mom was in town, the girls were allowed to come, and most of all, because I am damn impatient and I wanted to know! Ha. It was an amazing experience. We got some great pictures of her in 2D and 4D. The 4D's were a little creepy because little miss doesn't have any fat yet, it's still really early, but over all she really did look quite feminine and cute. She had a little attitude, putting her hand in front of her face, and shying away when the ultrasound tech tapped my belly to make her move. Already she is a stubborn one! Like mother like daughter.

In other news the scale is now in the 140 range. That's 15 pounds up. It's really all belly at this point. The rest of me still looks, well, like me, but I do have quite an impressive baby bump for a 17 week first timer. I'm good with it though. I'd rather look pregnant than oddly fat. I am trying to eat well, because I eat often. Lately fruits and cereal are favorites. I'm trying to limit my fro-yo consumption to once or twice a week. I am also walking 30 minutes 3-4 times a week. I'm doing the best I can.

I am really tired a lot though. I almost feel like my midday nap does more harm than damage, I just cannot come out of it. So, I've taken to putting my feet up in the afternoon and watching an hour of TV or reading a book while the kids rest.

The biggest thing this week: I'm quite certain I am feeling her move. It's like little pops and flutters that I only ever notice if I'm laying down. When I'm resting, I try to really focus on her. I talk to her, I rub my belly, I pray for her health. Seeing my little girl yesterday was one of the most amazing experiences I've had. She is such a miracle, and I am so in love with her it makes me emotional. Having her inside me makes my love for all my girls grow. They are all mine. I don't see how anyone could think that they would love one more than the other. I feel like my heart grew to include my new little bundle. Honestly, I'm so full of love and gratitude that tears fall from my eyes when I think about the topic. I have daughters. Daughter who will grow up and be good women because of me. It's so much responsibility, but moreover, it's such a privilege.

I realize the precious course that life truly is because I have lost. Monday will mark three years since I lost my 18 year old sister in a car accident. Accident. Accident. Accident. I repeat that to myself because it reminds me that it was nothing more than that: an accident. I think of her all the time (of course) but since I've become a mother the devastation I have for my own mother has increased exponentially. As mothers, we are given our children and we do everything in our power to love and protect them. My mother was no different. And she lost her baby girl. Because I lived through this, I realize how careful we must be with our lives. Our children are gifts and we never know how long they are meant to be in our lives. This week I will remember to let the small stuff go.

And I will lay still every day so I can feel those tiny little kicks. You are a miracle my little one. Thank you for coming in to my life. And to my big girls. God gave me you. He picked you for me and me for you. There isn't any more special way to be "born" into a family then that.