Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Crossing Over

Along the road of infertility, I joined some online support groups. I didn't have really any friends who were stuck on infertility island with me, so I sought out support on the internet. If you are thinking to yourself "wow, I should do that, where do I start?" There are forums on sites like thebump.com, babycenter.com, and whattoexpect.com where women band together and go through the months of trying to conceive leaning on each other for support. Its a great venue to vent frustrations, ask questions, and make some great connects.

I met a girl on my site that had been TTC for almost as long as I had and had never been pregnant. She and I were the last women standing in two different groups we were a part of. So, she made us our own group, and we are now both pregnant, due two days apart. It's been really amazing having her along the way. Her journey is different than mine, she did IVF to get pregnant with her miracle. She writes for an online magazine and recently posted this article. I couldn't have said anything she wrote better, and it's a topic I've been wanting to write about. Please read (and enjoy):

An Infertile Woman Stuck in a Pregnant Woman's Body

"No one feels completely happy after fighting a war, even if you’ve won because in war, something is always lost. I fought a war to get here and I feel exhausted, although exhilarated, and every day extremely grateful to be on the other side."
The end of this quote makes me tear up every time. I. Am. On. The. Other. Side. Almost 15 weeks along and I'm still in awe of the fact that I made it here. After everything I went through, all the tears, and the hopelessness, all the anger, jealousy, after the surrender to God on my knees over and over again. I prevailed. This war is over. But, I am not unscarred. I am a different person because my path to motherhood was more like a whirlwind road trip with detours at every turn. I know what its like to hurt, to feel hopeless and angry. I know what its like to dream over and over again for something and wake up everyday knowing that it may not ever happen. I know. 
But I have made it to pregnancy a humble, thankful woman who can identify with those who have pain in the midst of my happiness. And I know that their journey, their story will find its happy ending in time. We just have to keep on believing. 

1 comment:

  1. Ashley, this made me cry. I still can't believe we are both on the other side and absolutely unbelievable that are due dates are the same week. Miracles do happen. :) Huge hugs and thanks for the shout out. :)