Monday, April 11, 2011

Clomid Chronicles: Take 2, and who am I kidding, 3

So, the second cycle started, and due to a scheduling conflict with my Dr. I was not able to get into see him until cycle day 5. Meaning that I didn’t get to start my Clomid on the usual day 4, I started a day late. I was supposed to see him on a Monday, they told me Friday night to call Monday morning and get an appointment. Well guess what? President’s day was that Monday and his mother effing office was closed. Did I freak out? You bet your ass I did. Finally, the prior month I had ovulated on a normal day. I wanted another month of a normal length cycle….and now someone was throwing a speed bump into my plan. Oh, I cannot tell you how I sobbed, I was so upset. You cannot take a woman who is desperate for a baby, throw in some hormones and then mess up the schedule.

It ended up being fine, I went in that Tuesday got my check up (they check for cysts each time you complete a cycle because that’s a risk with Clomid) and started my meds that night. My doctor assured me that taking the medication a day late would only make a day or so difference in my ovulation.

Guess what? It seemed to make a huge difference. I didn’t ovulate at all on this second cycle. That was another tailspin of emotions, I never got a positive ovulation stick, and then my progesterone on day 24 was only 2.4. What the f**k? Who doesn’t ovulate when taking meds to make them ovulate, that’d be this girl folks. Yep.

Oddly enough something became clear to me on this cycle: That maybe there had been months all along I wasn’t ovulating. I mean, before I started working with a doctor I had months where I never really had that fertile (aka egg white) cervical mucus, and never got a positive ovulation stick. Maybe this was the problem.

The whole situation spun out of control when I started my next cycle, for 13 days (yes 13);I had my period off and on. I started Clomid at 100mg on day 4 as planned, but after all the abnormal bleeding my doctor told me that this was probably not going to be my month, so he wasn’t going to monitor me. Great. Clomid 100mg was horrid! The side effects doubled and I felt like crap the whole time I took it, and a week later I was still up at night with hot flashes. I felt really frustrated that he wasn’t going to monitor me because I had put myself through those meds once again. So, I am doing what any avid TTC’er would do, I’m doing my ovulation predictor kit’s and monitoring my other fertile signs to see if I can detect ovulation anyway. Its sorta inconclusive at this point, but its also what keeps me moderately sane.

"Hurry up, and wait. So close but so far away. Everything that you've ever dreamed of close enough for you to taste, but you just can't touch." - Jordin Sparks

2 comments:

  1. I know it sucks now, but you will have success sometime soon! The rest of this will just be a distant memory when you finally have that precious baby! I'm confident you and your doctor will find just the right combo, it just takes time. The waiting, trial and error, and hormones are terrible, but it will work. I have faith for you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pam, I appreciate all your comments, and thank you so much for your amazing support on this bumpy road

    ReplyDelete