Waiting Again!

I called Monday to get my lab result and hopefully speak with my doctor, as it had been a full week since I had the blood taken for the AMH test to see if I have PCOS, or if I have a low egg reserve. To my surprise and anguish the secretary told me that the next appointment would be the following Monday because my RE is out of the office at a workshop all week.
I was really fuming, but calmly said, "Ok thats fine, but can I please talk with a nurse to get my result." Guess what? The nurses are out this week, too. Cool. Not. Being a nurse I really hate it when my patients yell at me about something that isn't in my control. So I finished up with the receptionist, and then called my husband hysterical that I would have to wait another week for results.
He told me to calm down. This really pissed me off and he got the anger I had stored up because of waiting for the result, the anger I should have directed at the RE's office, and the anger I had at him for telling me to calm down. Oops, poor guy.
Here's the thing though: my husband got the results of his semen analysis one hour after he provided the sample. This really nice embryologist called with his thick Australian accent when we were still driving home from the appointment (our RE's office is 1.5 hrs away) and said this to us, "how do I put this in laymans terms? You da man." Yep, thats what he said. Men. Always making eachother more big headed then before...ha ha, literally in this case. So we've know for a week now that my husband is fine, and has more than enough sperm that swim well. He has no flipping idea the anguish that I am going through. I mean, c'mon, we've tried for a baby for almost two years ..... and I keep playing back what I've been told by both my doctors: "in 1/3 of cases its the man, another 1/3 its the woman, and in the last 1/3 its the combination." Let me break this down:
- its not my husband, he's DA MAN
-its not the combination of us, he's knocked me up before it just didn't work out.
Whats left? That'd be me. So, of course I'm a nervous wreck. After mellowing out a bit, and venting A LOT, I decided to write my doctor an email asking him to at least give me some overview of what the lab showed to calm my nerves until the follow up. He actually wrote me back later that day:
"Although I can't provide you with a complete answer without having your chart and the ability to speak with you; I am pleased to tell you that there is nothing to worry about. I have reviewed your results and I believe that you'll find them to be reassuring"
Thank you doc! My heart rate is now controlled, and I can breathe without holding back tears. I'm not sure what this exactly means, but my interpretation of it is that I don't have PCOS, and I have enough eggs. Maybe I'm wrong, but I guess the bottom line is that if he is happy with the results, then I should be to. This must mean he can help us to have a baby.
Now c'mon Monday. Honestly, who asks for it to be Monday? I'm loosing my mind. Its official.

The RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) Appointment

Today was the day that my husband and I met our fertility specialist, aka RE. The experience began in the waiting room. There was quite a selection of magazines in the office, one of which caught my eye: Conceive magazine. (www.conceiveonline.com). Well, hello there long lost reading friend. I enjoyed so much looking through that magazine that if it alone would have been my appointment it still would have been worth the 90 minute drive to get there.

Our RE was very kind and attentive to detail. He remembered my history without flipping through the documents I sent him, he encouraged questions and provided explanations for his thoughts. We really, really like him. He is not only a fertility specialist but someone who has struggled with infertility as a patient. It meant a lot to us to have a doctor who knows what we're going through on a personal level.

After talking with him I did feel a little hopeless. He didn't offer an exact "plan of action" because after reading my history he is concerned that many of my signs and symptoms (late, irregular ovulation, months without ovulation, lack of pregnancy, acne, and miscarriage) are pointing toward polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). This is one of the leading causes of infertility and is a condition where many small cysts form on the ovary causing an hormonal imbalance which may lead to infertility.

Also, (though we were told otherwise by our other doctor) he stated that my husbands semen analysis was borderline normal, his number of sperm was excellent, but the morphology was borderline. This means that though he has enough sperm, many of them don't swim the way they are supposed to. So my husband is having another semen analysis performed so that our RE can look at it himself.

So, more tests for both of us. For me it's an AMH test which is the anti-mullarian hormone test for egg reserve. If the level is high, its indicative of PCOS, if its low it means that I have low egg reserve, so we need to act now and pull out all the stops, as my time is limited in being able to release a good egg.

We're both really nervous. We both want to have a baby more than ever, and even the specialist seems concerned. Say a prayer for us.