Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Waiting Again!

I called Monday to get my lab result and hopefully speak with my doctor, as it had been a full week since I had the blood taken for the AMH test to see if I have PCOS, or if I have a low egg reserve. To my surprise and anguish the secretary told me that the next appointment would be the following Monday because my RE is out of the office at a workshop all week.
I was really fuming, but calmly said, "Ok thats fine, but can I please talk with a nurse to get my result." Guess what? The nurses are out this week, too. Cool. Not. Being a nurse I really hate it when my patients yell at me about something that isn't in my control. So I finished up with the receptionist, and then called my husband hysterical that I would have to wait another week for results.
He told me to calm down. This really pissed me off and he got the anger I had stored up because of waiting for the result, the anger I should have directed at the RE's office, and the anger I had at him for telling me to calm down. Oops, poor guy.
Here's the thing though: my husband got the results of his semen analysis one hour after he provided the sample. This really nice embryologist called with his thick Australian accent when we were still driving home from the appointment (our RE's office is 1.5 hrs away) and said this to us, "how do I put this in laymans terms? You da man." Yep, thats what he said. Men. Always making eachother more big headed then before...ha ha, literally in this case. So we've know for a week now that my husband is fine, and has more than enough sperm that swim well. He has no flipping idea the anguish that I am going through. I mean, c'mon, we've tried for a baby for almost two years ..... and I keep playing back what I've been told by both my doctors: "in 1/3 of cases its the man, another 1/3 its the woman, and in the last 1/3 its the combination." Let me break this down:
- its not my husband, he's DA MAN
-its not the combination of us, he's knocked me up before it just didn't work out.
Whats left? That'd be me. So, of course I'm a nervous wreck. After mellowing out a bit, and venting A LOT, I decided to write my doctor an email asking him to at least give me some overview of what the lab showed to calm my nerves until the follow up. He actually wrote me back later that day:
"Although I can't provide you with a complete answer without having your chart and the ability to speak with you; I am pleased to tell you that there is nothing to worry about. I have reviewed your results and I believe that you'll find them to be reassuring"
Thank you doc! My heart rate is now controlled, and I can breathe without holding back tears. I'm not sure what this exactly means, but my interpretation of it is that I don't have PCOS, and I have enough eggs. Maybe I'm wrong, but I guess the bottom line is that if he is happy with the results, then I should be to. This must mean he can help us to have a baby.
Now c'mon Monday. Honestly, who asks for it to be Monday? I'm loosing my mind. Its official.


  1. I completely understand how you were feeling about being 'the one with the problem.' I was our problem. My husband had no issues with his counts either. To quote our RE at our first IUI, "I haven't seen a count THAT good in a long time." Well glad to know that at least one of us is normal! It's really hard not to focus on being the one causing the infertility, but it's very counterproductive. Even if he does tell you on Monday that you have some variation of PCOS, (which I hope he doesn't) it's not the end of the world. MANY women go on to have very successful pregnancies with PCOS. Some just have to work harder to achieve them than others. Some women are able to beat it over and over with ease, others, like me, aren't. Good luck and I can't wait to hear what your RE has to say Monday!

  2. Ashley,
    I enjoy reading your blog!! I can only imagine your frustration!! I will be thinking about you come Monday!

  3. Thanks so much for your support ladies!