Sunday, November 4, 2012

When your #1 job is mommy

I work 5 days a week. I don't clock in and out, and I don't accrue overtime. With that being said, I have tried since having the girls to go in at 6:00 in the morning to be off by 2:30 (8hr day) which is my requirement, 5 eight hour days. But, lets face it, it never happens that way. My days are constantly longer, and I am the sole person who does my job, so at the end of the day, the work and needs are left for me to finish tomorrow. I sometimes get calls in the evening, on the weekends, and emails all the time. Maybe if I were less of a controlling perfectionist, I could manage all this without feeling guilty at work because all I want is to go home to my kids, and worse, feeling guilty at home after work because I just want to put kids to bed and relax. That coupled with the fact that I am a nurse, but my current position is more staff focused than patient focused has lead me to the following decision: I am going back to "the floor." Meaning I am going back to patient care.

I haven't made this decision lightly, I've been mulling over it for months. But, in my heart I know it's what's right, and what's best for me and my new little family. I will work longer days, but less days (3- 12 hour shifts a week).

This past week I landed the job that I wanted. I was very fortunate to be selected for the position which I applied. I am humbled at the opportunity. It is bittersweet, as I am leaving a job that I do like a lot. If the timing were different, I would stay. The team I work with is amazing, many of them have become friends. I hope to maintain those friendships.

But, it's time to move on. I am going to learn a lot on this new journey. I am going to be home more. And, when I leave work at night, someone else takes over for me. I will have four days off a week (YAY) where I can be with the girls, help in A's classroom next year when she goes to kindergarten, and get more done around the house.

Yes, this is the best decision. I hope everyone can understand.

I love my life, by the way, love it.

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