There are two types of birth fathers: Presumed and Alleged. A presumed father is a one that was living with or married to the birth mom. An alleged is one that is either the "only possible father," openly stating he is the baby's father, etc. So, ours is an alleged father. And, actually he has less rights than you would think. We really thought that the term, "blood is thicker than water" stood firm. But, in order for our birth father to block this adoption successfully he must do the following: provide emotional and financial support during the pregnancy at a reasonable point once he learned of the pregnancy. He must be able to support the baby on his own and provide a sturdy parenting plan.
Our birth father has not been supportive to our birth mom. In fact, he really has been a negative influence to her since she's been pregnant. He does not have parenting plan. So, I have discussed this situation in detail with both our lawyer and our social worker and have been assured by both that he cannot block this adoption given his current situation.
We have decided that we will continue to pursue this adoption unless one of two things happens:
- The birth father begins to perform the duties necessary to block the adoption, and it begins to seem that we may not "win" against his appeal.
- We find out that this young man truly is attempting to parent for the right reasons. If he genuinely wants to be this baby's father, we won't stand in his way because this is HIS baby first and foremost.
Our home study process has begun, we have completed one of our three classes, and have our "intake interview" (with the social worker) on Monday, followed by our second class on Tuesday night. It's a big time commitment because the classes are 1.5 hours away,start at 5:30pm and go til 9:30pm, and occur on week nights. Oh well, pressing forward, it will be worth it in the end!