Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Moment to Breathe

I don't really know where to start, I guess I will start out by saying that I'm sorry I haven't written sooner. I'm sorry that after presenting this amazing plan I bailed out for like a week and left you all wondering.

Here is why, blatent, raw, why.

In the state of California it is required that both partners must get infectious disease screening before they can embark on any kind of ART (assisted reproduction treatment) mission. So about a week and a half ago we both got tested for the following:
HLIV (human lymphocytic immunodeficiency virus- yeah, I didn't even know this existed and I'm a nurse)
HCV (hepatitis C virus)
HBV (hepatitis B virus)
RPR with reflux (syphillis)
Cystic Fibrosis Gene (one of us has to be negative so our baby isn't at risk)
Chlamydia culture (up the vag)
Gonorrhea culture (up the vag)

Okay, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking what all the people in my daily life were saying to me, "oh come on, you are a respectable person, you make good decisions, and you've been married for nearly a decade, if you had something you would know by now."

To be honest, I was scared. I mean, I had my share of dumbass horny teenage girl moments where I didn't use the proper protection, but didn't 90% of us have those moments? And, as a good friend of mine pointed out "I don't think teenage kids fall very high on the risk list of HIV." True, true.

So, you can guess what happens next, right? I was fine, yep. I was fine. But when I rhetorically asked the nurse if my husband was fine too, she stated, "Oh, his stuffs not all back yet." Ten minutes later he got a call saying that he had a problem with one of his tests. My husband tested + for the HCV antibody (Hepatitis C).  Our RE thought the test could be a false positive, as neither of us have ever been IV drug users, had blood transfusions...basically we live outside the risk factors, and I tested negative so the doc couldn't see how he could have have it. We did another lab test to see if my husband truly had Hepatitis C (its an RNA test that confirms the virus' presence in your blood).

FINALLY today (5 days past the drawing of the second sample, 6 days past the day we found out about the positive), we got the result, he doesn't have Hepatitis C. It has been the most terrifying, exhausting, and just plain crazy week I have ever had. I have honestly never been so scared. But, he is OK, and I am so incredibly grateful. It really puts life into perspective though. Last night I was sobbing because I thought that maybe my husband could be sick, he could have liver damage, he could need months of treatment, I could not have his babies, he could die, and I could be left alone, widowed and without children. It all sounds very dramatic now, but when I was standing in the middle of this tornado, it was very possible.

When he called and told me the news today, we both cried tears of relief, and when I finally got to see my husband, I hugged him like he had come home from war. The love of my life is finally out of the danger zone. And now, I am determined to have his babies!

I promise not to get to preachy here, but I would like to say that it was faith, and asking God for his help in all of this that made us get through this week. And, I am not afraid to say that I truly saw God today.

For more information on Hepatitis C please visit:

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