2nd Opinion

I know, I'm a complete blog slacker lately. Truth is, I got back from my vacation, and work got crazy, and this is literally the first time I've had to sit down, exhale, have a glass of wine, and write.

This past week my husband and I went to another RE. I love him and his office. I have spoken with them about three times, and they return my calls within an hour. They are so receptive and respectful of our questions and concerns that I truly feel this is where we belong for our duration on infertility island.

The RE pretty much looked at my entire medical history, and my husbands, and he did a full physical exam including yet another vaginal ultrasound....yippee....not! But at least he was thorough. He also agrees that I ovulate too late, and since I have spotting before my actual period starts, he thinks my progesterone dips down a little too soon making it more difficult for any potential fetus to implant. He also stated that my FSH level of 10.0 (that I had drawn two doctors ago) was borderline high, so medication to induce ovulation would be helpful.

Ovulation stimulators do include Clomid, but I was VERY clear that I didn't want to use it again. The side effects were horrible and the medication only worked for me 1:3 times which isn't great.

The Plan: Femara for five days. This is a pill like Clomid, but often works for women that didn't respond to Clomid. Then, just to make sure I my follicles grow in a timely manner, I will take an injectable medication for three days once the Femara is done. I will be having frequent ultrasounds and some blood draws during this process, and once I have a follicle, or follicles measuring between 18-20mm I will get a trigger shot, which triggers ovulation to occur in 12-24 hours. Then, I will have two IUI's (intrauterine inseminations). One will be the day of the trigger, and one the day after, I think. I haven't gotten my specific grid, but I think that's right. Then, once I'm all sperm loaded and my egg is available hopefully a sperm will fertilize an egg, or two! To ensure that there is enough progesterone to go around I am going to take progesterone supplements for my 2 week-wait.
Back to insemination. Again, this means that my husbands sperm will be washed, and the best swimmers will be placed directly into my uterus to swim up my fallopian tubes where the egg will be. My RE says that without insemination only 5% of sperm make it to the uterus, so it increases your chances significantly if you can put the sperm directly into the uterus. Here's my explanation in a picture for you visual people:

The toughest part will be waiting the 17 days from my first IUI until they draw my blood to see if I'm pregnant. I am going to vow to all of you right now that I will not test with a home pregnancy test. I will wait for my blood draw....I will wait and hold on to hope.
The downfall: everything I just told you will cost about $2200.00. But, here I am. It will work, I have to go into this believing that it will work. There is no other option.
I'm hopeful, scared, anxious, eager, and honestly wondering how I will fit driving 1.5hrs daily for a few days in a row, plus at least once a week during the cycle will fit into our work schedules. But, we've both talked with our bosses and told them whats going on. They were OK with it. So we're fortunate.

C'mon Baby! Or Babies!

Great Book.

I've been reading Melissa Ford's book, "Navigating the Land of IF" and I must say, its brought me back down to earth from planet hysterical, which I was orbiting earlier this week.

Her book touches on all the important issues of IF'ers (IF is the medical abbreviation for infertility). She talks about dealing with emotions surrounding let down, fertility meds, fertility treatments, adoption, third party reproduction (surrogacy, donor eggs and/or sperm), and choosing to live child free.

The whole book is structured like you are on a tour of an island....the island of "IF" and the trials and tribulations that await you while you attempt to get back to the "mainland."

Melissa has been through many of these things, and her knowledge, compassion, and sense of humor make for an amazing read that will settle your nerves and remind you that you are NOT alone.

6 months was irritating, but this is ridiculous.

I know, I know, I haven't written in over a week. What can I say? My "taking a break" mentality has turned into "I'm not pregnant" rage and tears in a matter of one week. Again, I am desperate to be a mom.

It all started when I went to a company picnic this past weekend and EVERYONE else had a baby, toddler, or was expecting. Yes, I'm exaggerating, but thats how it felt. I saw people who have tried, conceived and had a baby in the time I've been trying. I saw one co-worker who had her 5 month old, and her one and a half year-old at the BBQ, both were just a thought when I started this journey.

The title of this post stems from the fact that next week it has been two years since we started trying to conceive. Two years. You know, looking back I thought this may all take a while after my mishap with the ectopic pregnancy, but never, never-ever did I think I'd be sitting in my house two years later childless with a heavy heart.

Ok, I'm whining, I wont lie, I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself these days, but the question surfaces, "ok, I'm miserable, what am I going to do about it?" So today, after much discussion with my husband, and a few days of sitting with my own thoughts I called a second RE to get another opinion about what my options are moving forward from here. I could return to my OB/GYN but I just feel like if I'm going to shell out big bucks for any treatment I want someone who does these treatments every day doing them to me, not my OB who does them rarely. So, in the next few weeks I will meet with a second RE.

The one I chose this time came recommended by the OB/GYN who treated me for my 1st pregnancy and did my surgery when the pregnancy was found to be ectopic. To date, he is my favorite doctor. So, when I called and asked for his opinion, and he glowingly recommended this RE's office I called and made an appointment.

I don't really know whats to come. I still struggle to allow God to hold this in his hands, too. But, I cannot simply be a passenger any longer. I've enjoyed my break but, after my next cycle (which should be starting this weekend) I am eager to start treatments again. Someone once told me that no matter what you've got to buy a ticket and take the ride. So here I go, once again, a passenger.